It seems that time really does fly. In this era of uncertainty and change, it is always nice to know that some good things remain constant. That is why a group of bears, myself included, got together and decided to begin a group that would really act as a friendship and support network. That group, called The E-bears, is celebrating its 1 year anniversary bigger and stronger than ever.
The E-bears were founded because of an increasingly amount of interest for a group that was activity driven. While there were and still are other popular bear and bear friendly groups in town, it seemed that there wasn’t a group that offered members the chance to instantly plan events at a moments notice. The idea behind the E-bears was that through the internet and emails, if a group of guys wanted to get together and to go to a movie together, they could simply send out an E-vite invitation and off we could go. By building a database on Evite with an instant RSVP system, members could plan an event as late as the day of, and get an accurate assessment of who would be there.
Of the many events that the E-bears have had, none seem to have more interest than our weekend movie outings. From Mamma Mia to MILK, the E-bears group attended several movies this past year. Often many of our members would bring their friends from out of town, allowing for anyone who wanted to come who so desired. Last year most of our movie outings occurred at The Mary Pickford Theater, but as the first year came to end we ventured out to other theaters as well. In the coming year we will continue expanding the venues that we attend movies out, and are going to commit to at least one (probably more) movie outings per month.
Other events that we have enjoyed were going to see the Palm Springs Power baseball game, a great 4th of July pool party and fireworks, miniature golf, a wedding and of course the event that started it all a Valentine’s Day Cupcakes and Cupid party. The point of the group is to not be stagnant by trying a wide variety of events.
The best part of it all, is that because all of our events are member planned, and there are no dues or officers, the E-bears is strictly about having a good time. There are no meetings or politics. Members can choose which events are of interest to them, and our policy is that those who are meant to be at an event and those who aren’t, simply are not. It’s really that simple.
Now of course, as with any group no matter how informal, there are a few rules. The rules for the E-bears are quite simple and are for the good of the whole group. Rule #1 is that we only encourage people who have a positive attitude. We strive to keep it drama free and since there are no dues, no promises and no official group charter, those who are looking for drama, simply are removed from the E-vite list. Rule #2 is the most important. It is imperative that our group remain active. We are not interested in how many people are in the group, we are more focused on how many active members we have. Therefore we do ask that members RSVP to the Evites whether they can attend or not. If a member doesn’t RSVP to three consecutive events we assume that they are now inactive and therefore drop them off the list. We don’t require that you go to any of the events, but you must at least take the time to respond to invitations. And the 3rd and final rule is that all public events (such as a movie outing, or day trip) are open to all members. However, if a member hosts an event at their private home, we do not require that they invite all members. This is because some people don’t have room for 75 people and since it is a member’s private residence, they can have the option of who they invite.
Now the biggest question that I get about the E-bears is how to become a member. It is really quite simple. Email your first and last name, some info about yourself, to ebearsps@gmail.com. It is really that easy.
We look forward to our 2nd year and hopefully you will be a part of the fun.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Mailbag
When I first started writing Bear Talk I was very surprised by the amount of questions and comments that I would receive. I would often joke with friends that I would know when the new issue of Talk hit the stands because I would suddenly be receiving complaints about something I had wrote. Heck, you can’t please everyone.
On a few occasions in the past I openly answered in this column, but alas there was no way to answer them all in print. Thus I started answering them all privately. Well after about a year of doing so, I have noticed that a lot of the same questions find their way to my inbox. So I have decided that I will begin again occasionally answering your emails for all to see.
Q: Where do I get a copy of Talk Magazine? Can I read your past columns online?
A:Talk Magazine can be found literally all over town, and throughout the country. The best bet to find a copy of Talk is of course at places that advertise in Talk, at the bars, and of course you can read it online at TalkPublications.com. As for past Bear Talk columns, the current ones are always at our website, and as of 2009 I have begun archiving them at beartalkps.blogspot.com.
Q: I used to pick up your column to find out what events were happening around PS. How come there don’t seem to be as many bear events anymore?
A: Well, this is a double sided answer. It is true that I used to list many of the bear events in town in a small section I devoted called “What’s Happening”. It was generally placed at the end of my column each week, but there wasn’t much room. So I decided that instead I would write full columns about the major bear events in town since most everyone either knew of the weekly bear gatherings or could easily find out that information.
The reason that my columns have not been so event driven as of late is unfortunate actually. I have always been committed to promoting local events, and always have worked with organizers of such events to get the word out. Often I would write a couple of columns prior to an upcoming event and from what I have been told by several readers and organize, by getting the word out increased attendance. However, lately getting the information sent to me about upcoming events has been like pulling teeth. Why any organizer or group wouldn’t want free publicity is beyond me. I have made it clear that if anyone needs me to help promote their event all they need to do is send me the details. So if you have an event coming up or know of one that you’d like more information on let me know and I will see what I can do.
Q: Here is the situation. My 2 friends have a very explosive relationship. One day they are on and the next they are off. As far as I am concerned it’s their business. But when they do break up they try to get everyone they know involved in their drama. When they get back together again we are all expected to act like nothing happened. What would you do?
A: Man I hate it when that happens. You hit the nail on the head though with your own question. It is THEIR drama, not yours, not their other friends, not the mailman’s. It belongs to them. Anyone that truly values your friendship will never put you in the middle of their relationship problems regardless of their situation. Furthermore, it is extremely rude for them to assume that all is well after they have declared it so. You cannot say my boyfriend is a jerk and here I why, and then the next day say he is great and you shouldn’t think bad of him.
So take a page from my book. I came up with a term I call “Yo Yo Drama”. Simply tell your friends “That’s yo’ drama and its going to keep coming up again until you fix it”.
On a few occasions in the past I openly answered in this column, but alas there was no way to answer them all in print. Thus I started answering them all privately. Well after about a year of doing so, I have noticed that a lot of the same questions find their way to my inbox. So I have decided that I will begin again occasionally answering your emails for all to see.
Q: Where do I get a copy of Talk Magazine? Can I read your past columns online?
A:Talk Magazine can be found literally all over town, and throughout the country. The best bet to find a copy of Talk is of course at places that advertise in Talk, at the bars, and of course you can read it online at TalkPublications.com. As for past Bear Talk columns, the current ones are always at our website, and as of 2009 I have begun archiving them at beartalkps.blogspot.com.
Q: I used to pick up your column to find out what events were happening around PS. How come there don’t seem to be as many bear events anymore?
A: Well, this is a double sided answer. It is true that I used to list many of the bear events in town in a small section I devoted called “What’s Happening”. It was generally placed at the end of my column each week, but there wasn’t much room. So I decided that instead I would write full columns about the major bear events in town since most everyone either knew of the weekly bear gatherings or could easily find out that information.
The reason that my columns have not been so event driven as of late is unfortunate actually. I have always been committed to promoting local events, and always have worked with organizers of such events to get the word out. Often I would write a couple of columns prior to an upcoming event and from what I have been told by several readers and organize, by getting the word out increased attendance. However, lately getting the information sent to me about upcoming events has been like pulling teeth. Why any organizer or group wouldn’t want free publicity is beyond me. I have made it clear that if anyone needs me to help promote their event all they need to do is send me the details. So if you have an event coming up or know of one that you’d like more information on let me know and I will see what I can do.
Q: Here is the situation. My 2 friends have a very explosive relationship. One day they are on and the next they are off. As far as I am concerned it’s their business. But when they do break up they try to get everyone they know involved in their drama. When they get back together again we are all expected to act like nothing happened. What would you do?
A: Man I hate it when that happens. You hit the nail on the head though with your own question. It is THEIR drama, not yours, not their other friends, not the mailman’s. It belongs to them. Anyone that truly values your friendship will never put you in the middle of their relationship problems regardless of their situation. Furthermore, it is extremely rude for them to assume that all is well after they have declared it so. You cannot say my boyfriend is a jerk and here I why, and then the next day say he is great and you shouldn’t think bad of him.
So take a page from my book. I came up with a term I call “Yo Yo Drama”. Simply tell your friends “That’s yo’ drama and its going to keep coming up again until you fix it”.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Great Expectations
As this issue of Talk Magazine hits the stands, today marks a truly historical day in American history. Millions of people will have tuned in their televisions, and countless folks will have made a trek to Washington DC as Barack Obama is sworn in as the new President of the United States. And while having our first African American president is quite historical, the real item of relevance is not the swearing in of President Obama, but instead the end of quite possibly the worst presidency in American history, that of now private citizen George Bush.
Now there are those around, many from Indian Wells, who would argue that George Bush wasn’t a bad president. There are even those who would say he was a great president. Now that he is out of office officially I can let those with that kind of a mentality on a very badly kept secret. George Bush was not, I repeat was not, in any capacity a person whose presidency should ever be looked back upon as anything more than a very dark period in the history world. From the travesty of Hurricane Katrina, to the outing of a CIA Agent, lying to the world to get us into war, and to the recent economic crisis, George Bush and his cronies (including those who ever voted for him) are completely responsible for the state of our country today.
In case there is anyone out there that thinks I don’t have a definite opinion on the now former president and the deeds of his administration, I hope that I have cleared it up for you. I know, I know, there are those on the right who now will say “He is gone now, so you can’t blame him”. Well of course I can blame him and I will. Hell, the Bush regime was blaming the Clinton’s for their failures throughout. We went from a surplus economy with Bill Clinton, to the biggest national debt in the history of our country. We went from being the darling of the world following 911 to warmongers. Sorry, Mr. Bush, that was your doing and you and your party will own it for history.
But now we have a new dawn filled with great expectations and high hopes. With President Obama at the helm, we can at least know from the beginning that we have someone in office who truly cares about the American people. The people of America elected Obama in great numbers, and for the first time in years we have a president in office whose election to office is completely legitimate and without doubt of fraud. That in itself is a sign of a change in America, where the voice of the people is actually being heard and not decided by the Supreme Court.
The truth of the matter is that there are tough days ahead, even with President Obama in charge. There are those who say that perhaps we should lower our expectations of what we can see from the new administration. That notion I must reject. This is America after all and not only should we expect great things, we should work together to make them happen. Tough times in the past have lead to America’s ingenuity. We have banded together and literally changed the world. There is nothing that says we cannot make this happen, and those who wish for the President to fail at reviving America, then you are the problem and your patriotism is flawed.
Now is the time for America to prosper and thrive. We simply cannot let pundants say that we are in a recession, and times are bad and accept it. As with any situation, we are in control of our destiny. We can either accept the news of doom and gloom or we can make strides to change it.
Charles Dickens wrote something that is very appropriate in our current times. He wrote: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."
It’s all how you look at it, but with Obama in office, I look at it with the audacity of hope.
Now there are those around, many from Indian Wells, who would argue that George Bush wasn’t a bad president. There are even those who would say he was a great president. Now that he is out of office officially I can let those with that kind of a mentality on a very badly kept secret. George Bush was not, I repeat was not, in any capacity a person whose presidency should ever be looked back upon as anything more than a very dark period in the history world. From the travesty of Hurricane Katrina, to the outing of a CIA Agent, lying to the world to get us into war, and to the recent economic crisis, George Bush and his cronies (including those who ever voted for him) are completely responsible for the state of our country today.
In case there is anyone out there that thinks I don’t have a definite opinion on the now former president and the deeds of his administration, I hope that I have cleared it up for you. I know, I know, there are those on the right who now will say “He is gone now, so you can’t blame him”. Well of course I can blame him and I will. Hell, the Bush regime was blaming the Clinton’s for their failures throughout. We went from a surplus economy with Bill Clinton, to the biggest national debt in the history of our country. We went from being the darling of the world following 911 to warmongers. Sorry, Mr. Bush, that was your doing and you and your party will own it for history.
But now we have a new dawn filled with great expectations and high hopes. With President Obama at the helm, we can at least know from the beginning that we have someone in office who truly cares about the American people. The people of America elected Obama in great numbers, and for the first time in years we have a president in office whose election to office is completely legitimate and without doubt of fraud. That in itself is a sign of a change in America, where the voice of the people is actually being heard and not decided by the Supreme Court.
The truth of the matter is that there are tough days ahead, even with President Obama in charge. There are those who say that perhaps we should lower our expectations of what we can see from the new administration. That notion I must reject. This is America after all and not only should we expect great things, we should work together to make them happen. Tough times in the past have lead to America’s ingenuity. We have banded together and literally changed the world. There is nothing that says we cannot make this happen, and those who wish for the President to fail at reviving America, then you are the problem and your patriotism is flawed.
Now is the time for America to prosper and thrive. We simply cannot let pundants say that we are in a recession, and times are bad and accept it. As with any situation, we are in control of our destiny. We can either accept the news of doom and gloom or we can make strides to change it.
Charles Dickens wrote something that is very appropriate in our current times. He wrote: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."
It’s all how you look at it, but with Obama in office, I look at it with the audacity of hope.
Antiques Roadshow
A few months ago nearly 6000 people, myself included, gathered our most valuable possessions, or so we hoped, and made our way to the Palm Springs Convention Center for a visit to the Antiques Road Show. Now the shows, filmed here in Palm Springs will finally be airing on Monday nights for three weeks in January Determined that I had at least one or two priceless treasures, my friend Mike and I, braved a never ending sea of fortune seekers for the chance to be immortalized forever on national television. Having attended the Road Show once before many years ago, like the antiques the appraisers look over to find their worth, the experience of the Road Show this time around had also appreciated in value..
I cannot think of an experience that even comes close to going to the Antiques Road Show, except maybe Christmas as a child. First you choose which two items that you are going to take for appraisal. Once that daunting task is done then there is the anticipation. It starts the night before the show, lying in bed convinced that you have a one of a kind multi million dollar artifact. Then just like a visit to St. Nick, you go over in your mind over and over again, the story that you are going to tell the appraisers, to ensure that your item is appraised at its maximum value.
Believe me; all sorts of things go through your mind as you await your moment with the appraisers. There is of course excitement that you have even got a ticket to attend, but then there is the overall feeling that perhaps you have been holding onto a priceless heirloom all these years that you could have sold it long ago, and at that very moment you could be using your vast wealth to travel around the world.
For me the best part of attending the Antiques Road Show is the 2 hour plus line that you must wait in just to get inside. Like the gold miners of the 1800’s people from all over the country literally come with their items for a chance to strike gold. Of course the tools for gold mining are a lot different than they were in the past, though I am sure there were a few people in line with actual gold mining gear to have appraised.
We literally saw a bit of everything as we walked back and forth up and down in a maze of antiques and collectibles. We were most impressed by a man in front of us who had a scale model from the DeLaurentis’ version of King Kong. There were countless paintings and furniture pieces. There was even a women dressed in crocks and a moo-moo walking the aisles with a musket and pistol. One man was even smart enough to bring a chair, the genius of this being, he could use the chair for its intended purpose while waiting to get it appraised.
What I had discovered from talking with the other people looking to get appraisals is that their items were more than just trinkets. The stories that they had to go with their items were generally worth far more than the items themselves. I realized that going to the Antiques Roadshow was by far more valuable than anything I could have had appraised. Memories and experience really do not have a monetary value, they are priceless.
I left the show with an even greater feeling for the items I have in my home. Sure most of them are not worth much in monetary value, but just by looking around I suddenly noticed that collectively they are priceless. Each item that adorns my walls, fills my shelves and is a source of constant dusting, represent so much more than the money I paid for them. They are all items that Rod and I have put together to make our home. These items have value to us, but only we know how much to us. And to think I waited in line for hours to discover something that I should have already known. Oh well, that in itself is worth something.
I cannot think of an experience that even comes close to going to the Antiques Road Show, except maybe Christmas as a child. First you choose which two items that you are going to take for appraisal. Once that daunting task is done then there is the anticipation. It starts the night before the show, lying in bed convinced that you have a one of a kind multi million dollar artifact. Then just like a visit to St. Nick, you go over in your mind over and over again, the story that you are going to tell the appraisers, to ensure that your item is appraised at its maximum value.
Believe me; all sorts of things go through your mind as you await your moment with the appraisers. There is of course excitement that you have even got a ticket to attend, but then there is the overall feeling that perhaps you have been holding onto a priceless heirloom all these years that you could have sold it long ago, and at that very moment you could be using your vast wealth to travel around the world.
For me the best part of attending the Antiques Road Show is the 2 hour plus line that you must wait in just to get inside. Like the gold miners of the 1800’s people from all over the country literally come with their items for a chance to strike gold. Of course the tools for gold mining are a lot different than they were in the past, though I am sure there were a few people in line with actual gold mining gear to have appraised.
We literally saw a bit of everything as we walked back and forth up and down in a maze of antiques and collectibles. We were most impressed by a man in front of us who had a scale model from the DeLaurentis’ version of King Kong. There were countless paintings and furniture pieces. There was even a women dressed in crocks and a moo-moo walking the aisles with a musket and pistol. One man was even smart enough to bring a chair, the genius of this being, he could use the chair for its intended purpose while waiting to get it appraised.
What I had discovered from talking with the other people looking to get appraisals is that their items were more than just trinkets. The stories that they had to go with their items were generally worth far more than the items themselves. I realized that going to the Antiques Roadshow was by far more valuable than anything I could have had appraised. Memories and experience really do not have a monetary value, they are priceless.
I left the show with an even greater feeling for the items I have in my home. Sure most of them are not worth much in monetary value, but just by looking around I suddenly noticed that collectively they are priceless. Each item that adorns my walls, fills my shelves and is a source of constant dusting, represent so much more than the money I paid for them. They are all items that Rod and I have put together to make our home. These items have value to us, but only we know how much to us. And to think I waited in line for hours to discover something that I should have already known. Oh well, that in itself is worth something.
2009 Expectations
Having unwrapped the last gift, finished putting away the leftovers and thinking about all the decorations to pack away, it is now time to put the joy of Christmas behind us and look to the New Year. With any New Year there is often hope and excitement of what is to come, and of course those annual New Years resolutions.
For the life of me I can’t remember my resolutions for 2008, but I am sure they had to encompass my annual pledges to lose weight, spend less, quit smoking. Since I have never smoked a day in my life, at least I can say that one of those bad habits didn’t make it to see 2008.
As a bear, a short chubby bear to be specific, each year I find myself wanting to get into better shape. While round is a shape and I have that one perfected, I really want to shed some pounds and be the muscle bear that countless cubs have told me I should be. Actually, a muscle bear might be too extreme for me, but to have overall health and some big arms certainly sounds like something that I could really get into.
Though I find bears and non bears of all shapes and sizes to be sexy, I have always thought that I should be in better shape. Having trained and wrestled as a pro wrestler, when I would talk to people and then meet them they would always be surprised that I wasn’t a muscled up fireplug. This isn’t to say that I am unhappy with myself, far from it. I am by all measures a classic bear. I am hairy, chubby, hopefully to others masculine. It is just for me a desire to actually be what I feel is inside me.
Recently I have heard of increased debate what it is that makes a person a bear. While I am not in a position to define that for everyone, for me I believe it is about attitude rather than a physical conditioning. I don’t think a man with a big belly is any more or less of a bear than one with oversized muscles covered with fur. To categorize or dismiss someone as a bear based solely on their appearance, goes directly against what the whole bear movement has been about.
I have decided that my New Years resolution for me is to work toward the goal of becoming a healthier person. Surprisingly enough to me, I have had mixed reactions to it. Some friends have told me that if I lose my belly I will no longer be a bear, while others tell me that I will look good with some big arms. Then it occurred to me in order for this to be a successful endeavor, I needed to make sure that it was something I wanted to do for myself, and that it is a goal that can be reached.
With only a year and a half until my dreaded 40th birthday I find that now is truly the time to make a change. I don’t have unrealistic goals, finally realizing that it’s about progress and not perfection. I find it completely insane to state that on this date I am going to miraculously change my lifestyle. While that would be ideal, it is very unrealistic. I know that I must state my goals in order to work toward them, I have to realize that all goals require work, and anything worth doing is worth committing to.
Regardless of my size or shape I am at a point where I am truly happy on the inside. That is something that seemed to have alluded me for so long. So whether I lose weight or gain it, my size does not determine who I am. I am by all accounts a bear, not because of how others identify me, but because that is how I choose to identify myself. The bear community is filled with all shapes and sizes, with some very wonderful people. I for one am proud to call myself a bear. GRRRR!
For the life of me I can’t remember my resolutions for 2008, but I am sure they had to encompass my annual pledges to lose weight, spend less, quit smoking. Since I have never smoked a day in my life, at least I can say that one of those bad habits didn’t make it to see 2008.
As a bear, a short chubby bear to be specific, each year I find myself wanting to get into better shape. While round is a shape and I have that one perfected, I really want to shed some pounds and be the muscle bear that countless cubs have told me I should be. Actually, a muscle bear might be too extreme for me, but to have overall health and some big arms certainly sounds like something that I could really get into.
Though I find bears and non bears of all shapes and sizes to be sexy, I have always thought that I should be in better shape. Having trained and wrestled as a pro wrestler, when I would talk to people and then meet them they would always be surprised that I wasn’t a muscled up fireplug. This isn’t to say that I am unhappy with myself, far from it. I am by all measures a classic bear. I am hairy, chubby, hopefully to others masculine. It is just for me a desire to actually be what I feel is inside me.
Recently I have heard of increased debate what it is that makes a person a bear. While I am not in a position to define that for everyone, for me I believe it is about attitude rather than a physical conditioning. I don’t think a man with a big belly is any more or less of a bear than one with oversized muscles covered with fur. To categorize or dismiss someone as a bear based solely on their appearance, goes directly against what the whole bear movement has been about.
I have decided that my New Years resolution for me is to work toward the goal of becoming a healthier person. Surprisingly enough to me, I have had mixed reactions to it. Some friends have told me that if I lose my belly I will no longer be a bear, while others tell me that I will look good with some big arms. Then it occurred to me in order for this to be a successful endeavor, I needed to make sure that it was something I wanted to do for myself, and that it is a goal that can be reached.
With only a year and a half until my dreaded 40th birthday I find that now is truly the time to make a change. I don’t have unrealistic goals, finally realizing that it’s about progress and not perfection. I find it completely insane to state that on this date I am going to miraculously change my lifestyle. While that would be ideal, it is very unrealistic. I know that I must state my goals in order to work toward them, I have to realize that all goals require work, and anything worth doing is worth committing to.
Regardless of my size or shape I am at a point where I am truly happy on the inside. That is something that seemed to have alluded me for so long. So whether I lose weight or gain it, my size does not determine who I am. I am by all accounts a bear, not because of how others identify me, but because that is how I choose to identify myself. The bear community is filled with all shapes and sizes, with some very wonderful people. I for one am proud to call myself a bear. GRRRR!
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