2009 Expectations

Having unwrapped the last gift, finished putting away the leftovers and thinking about all the decorations to pack away, it is now time to put the joy of Christmas behind us and look to the New Year. With any New Year there is often hope and excitement of what is to come, and of course those annual New Years resolutions.

For the life of me I can’t remember my resolutions for 2008, but I am sure they had to encompass my annual pledges to lose weight, spend less, quit smoking. Since I have never smoked a day in my life, at least I can say that one of those bad habits didn’t make it to see 2008.

As a bear, a short chubby bear to be specific, each year I find myself wanting to get into better shape. While round is a shape and I have that one perfected, I really want to shed some pounds and be the muscle bear that countless cubs have told me I should be. Actually, a muscle bear might be too extreme for me, but to have overall health and some big arms certainly sounds like something that I could really get into.

Though I find bears and non bears of all shapes and sizes to be sexy, I have always thought that I should be in better shape. Having trained and wrestled as a pro wrestler, when I would talk to people and then meet them they would always be surprised that I wasn’t a muscled up fireplug. This isn’t to say that I am unhappy with myself, far from it. I am by all measures a classic bear. I am hairy, chubby, hopefully to others masculine. It is just for me a desire to actually be what I feel is inside me.

Recently I have heard of increased debate what it is that makes a person a bear. While I am not in a position to define that for everyone, for me I believe it is about attitude rather than a physical conditioning. I don’t think a man with a big belly is any more or less of a bear than one with oversized muscles covered with fur. To categorize or dismiss someone as a bear based solely on their appearance, goes directly against what the whole bear movement has been about.

I have decided that my New Years resolution for me is to work toward the goal of becoming a healthier person. Surprisingly enough to me, I have had mixed reactions to it. Some friends have told me that if I lose my belly I will no longer be a bear, while others tell me that I will look good with some big arms. Then it occurred to me in order for this to be a successful endeavor, I needed to make sure that it was something I wanted to do for myself, and that it is a goal that can be reached.

With only a year and a half until my dreaded 40th birthday I find that now is truly the time to make a change. I don’t have unrealistic goals, finally realizing that it’s about progress and not perfection. I find it completely insane to state that on this date I am going to miraculously change my lifestyle. While that would be ideal, it is very unrealistic. I know that I must state my goals in order to work toward them, I have to realize that all goals require work, and anything worth doing is worth committing to.
Regardless of my size or shape I am at a point where I am truly happy on the inside. That is something that seemed to have alluded me for so long. So whether I lose weight or gain it, my size does not determine who I am. I am by all accounts a bear, not because of how others identify me, but because that is how I choose to identify myself. The bear community is filled with all shapes and sizes, with some very wonderful people. I for one am proud to call myself a bear. GRRRR!